This will be either the last post of me as a 21 year old or the first post as a 22 year old. I’m starting it at 11:54pm so we’ll see where it goes.
That also means that the new year (according to our ever-so-lovely Julian Calendar) is right around the corner. So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about myself in the past year and what I have become, what I’ve done, and what will become of me.
In 2007, I’ve broken hearts, had my heart broken, tried to pick up the pieces, failed, tried again, still failed, convinced my mother to buy a 109 year old house in Mount Clemens, paid over $3,000 to secure said house out of pocket, ruined some of my best friendships, purchased 2 cars, got a new cell phone, had lots of sin, had even more regret, have been at the happiest times of my life, been so depressed I’ve wanted to kill myself, I’ve been drunk, I’ve been sober, I’ve been high, I’ve been low, I’ve attended concerts and plays, I’ve spend weeks at home, I quit my job, I tried Ubuntu Linux, I’ve cried more times than I will admit, I have more or less my own place to live within formerly said house, I purchased 2 new guitars and a violin, I helped a lot of people, I hurt even probably twice as many people, I’ve used people, I’ve been used, lied, been brutally honest, gotten others to cheat, tried to hide unhappiness with material possessions and failed miserably, been a great advice giver, and I’ve been the worst influence you can imagine, I’ve purchased alcohol for minors (later today to be no exception), sold alcohol to minors, distributed controlled substances, ignored fantastic advice, took some really bad advice, made some of the best decisions I’ve ever made, made some of the worst decisions you can imagine, alienated people, caused some people to hate me with an unbelievable passion, I’ve said some things I regret, some things I’m sure I will grow to regret, and some things I will never regret, I’ve done a lot of stupid mundane things, and some things that I will never forget, I’ve seen some of my dreams come true before my eyes, and seen some of my dreams smashed and destroyed on all levels.
In all, I was completely and entirely unable to simplify my life. In the end, I just hurt. I want to go away, and be done with it. I don’t know how much longer I can live this life, but I’ll have to make some serious changes. I need a new life, my world needs to change. And I need to change it, otherwise, I have a really strong feeling that 2008 is going to be just as tragic as 2007.
